


Destination

by EscapePub



Category: Naruto
Genre: Complete, Genre: AU, M/M, warning: unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-04
Updated: 2012-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-30 13:56:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapePub/pseuds/EscapePub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where the hidden villages have been dissolved of their militant capabilities, Sasuke Uchiha struggles to find his place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destination

His wide grin mocked me—as if I cared what the idiot thought, but as a man, as an Uchiha, it was only natural that I craved to scrape that expression off his naive face. Suppressing an undignified growl, I faced his head-on charge with a smirk. I felt justified in my attitude of superiority, as I felt justified in evading his blunt attack and tripping him into the mud. The left side of his scarred, insultingly beautiful face hit the mud with a satisfying _smack_. Quickly, I twisted his left arm behind his back and secured his legs with my own. He pushed up with his free hand and I pressed my own on its surface, my fingers dipping between his.

"You could not have thought to pose a legitimate challenge," I said quietly. The sweet, burning adrenalin, which had swept me into violent rapture, began to fade. Rationality returned, rubbed my face in the mess I presented it. I was here, pressed hard against Naruto's panting form, voluntarily. Enthusiastically. I was as weak as I had always been to passion, Naruto reminded me, taunted me, as he always would. I'd stooped to his physical means of communication, and I should have been shamed—should have stood, removed the mud smear of Naruto's fingers on my neck, and retired to my home.

However, his low chuckle entreated me to stay, and exhilaration persuaded me close.

"Who knew," he said, blue eyes examining me, "that a bastard like you could be such fun in the mud."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "We've been rolling in the mud since we met, Naruto," I said. "Should I be concerned that you find such consistent failure _fun_?"

His lips relaxed, softening into a grin I had never seen before, but recognized intuitively, and something tightened in my gut. _He has matured_ , I realized, feeling young and clumsy by comparison.

Abruptly, my position above him was not a victory, but a trap. My body began to burn at our every point of contact, and my hands loosened around his wrists out of shock. All at once, I felt his muscles against mine, noticed the sweet agony the curve and swell of unrelenting flesh presented for my awakening dick. I became overly aware of his eyes on mine and the absurdly electric feeling of his free hand trailing up the back of my thigh.

It was he, now, who smirked victoriously—and I could do naught but shiver and stare back at him dumbly, prey in the hands of my preferred predator.

Above us, the sky cracked and the first of many drops fell on Naruto's nose as he gained his knees. Another, faster and on his forehead, struck him as he leaned into me, and I saw none of the rest.

–

_A_ _lifetime_ _later_ _._

–

Konoha both had and hadn't changed. Sasuke stood on the swell of a forest road and, hidden, inspected the village he'd once considered home. Most conspicuous of the differences was the absence of the village gate. Konoha was open, vulnerable, _weak_ . . . but ultimately peaceful.

Sasuke readjusted the pack on his back and relinquished any disagreeing thoughts he might have had. Truthfully, the new-found peace of the country was a gift. Hidden villages were now unnecessary, and the suffering of many had faded from existence. Though some who had previously been ninja never adjusted to civilian life, those who could adjust experienced something like premature retirement. It was calm, it was rich (in every sense of the word), and any ninja who did not take this new world for what it was denied themselves peace.

He had come back to the village to take his own advice. The sudden destruction of ninja existence had not agreed with him and he'd left to seek life in other areas of the world. For what he was searching, Sasuke did not know, and might never know, because he had been unable to settle into any stable existence. Instead he had wandered, studied the peace around him, and slowly come to be of his current opinion. Now, he returned to Kohoha, sword sheathed across his back.

Though the village now seemed alien to him, the change was grounding. If he'd come to find things exactly as they had been when he'd left—Sakura, insane and caring, striving to achieve perfection in her field by way of days planned for five hours of sleep; Naruto, eagerly grasping at a title, riveted by the horizon of peace. . . . Sasuke didn't think he could have accepted it. Too much else had changed, so much so that everything that had once been set in stone now called for alteration.

Resolutely, he emerged onto the visible path. This was to be a new life, after all.

–

The townspeople stared at him as he passed. He had thought he would be recognized sooner rather than later, but later was fine. He was not disappointed that the idiot hadn't rushed him and commenced screaming his disapproval of Sasuke's disappearance. Now that he reconsidered it, he couldn't reasonably expect a welcome at all. Who was to say Naruto and every other ninja had not left the village as he had?

Foolish of me, he thought as he walked the streets of Konoha. Presumptuous and foolish.

His feet led him towards the Uchiha district, though he was unsure it still existed. So far, the village had proved amazingly . . . bland. And, for a man who had decided the world was better off this way, he glared quite unhappily at everything about him. The hokage tower still stood—no doubt it now housed the man representing Konoha politically. How had the government of the village changed? he wondered. Had Naruto faced the reality of losing his dream, or did he now occupy that office as something less than he had hoped to be? Believable as that may have been, the absence of Naruto's face upon the mountain was telling.

Sasuke had not realized he'd been standing still in the middle of a deserted road of Konoha, staring up at the mountain and daydreaming about the past and abandoned ideas for the future, until the awareness even years without training couldn't dull alerted him to a certain surge of chakra.

Naruto. He knew it at once, and clenched his fists at his sides, swiftly relieved and unhappy that he cared as much as he did. Sasuke stared out over the rooftops and felt his heart beat out towards the disturbance. Moments passed with silence, and eventually he turned his face away to continue towards his most-likely demolished dwelling. Why did he even bother going? Why deny himself a reunion with Naruto for such a pointless task?

It had to be done, he knew, but he felt he was avoiding Naruto, rather than doing what he must. He could now admit to being unsure—nervous, even—but it would take more than a drastic change of the world for Uchiha Sasuke to admit to guilt. Possibly, the end of the world would allow this, but even then, there would be none to bear witness.

Put simply, he would not seek out Naruto of his own volition. This being what it was, Sasuke saw no reason to linger any longer. He started a determined pace in the direction of what might or might not be the Uchiha district. That he was running away was something else he wouldn't admit unless faced with the apocalypse.

–

Sasuke woke gradually. The light of early morning loosened his eyelids, and he exhaled quietly as he blinked himself awake. He stared tiredly at the white ceiling of his Inn room and allowed the events of the past day to wash over him. Not only had the Uchiha district been demolished, but the resulting patch of availability had been used to its full advantage. He'd spent hours exploring the new addition to Konoha the day before, discovering each dog park, restaurant, and market for himself. Instead of remaining the site of murder, what had once been the Uchiha district was now the joyful area in which dogs shat and civilians enjoyed fantastic food. Lovely.

Exactly what Konoha needed, Sasuke thought with a sneer. More crap.

He rubbed his hair back out of his eyes as he sat up in bed, unhappily aware of the irony and even less excited that he'd woken himself up with it. It didn't much matter, but his current situation seemed gloomy in the morning light. Truthfully, it wasn't the dog shit all over the Uchiha district that had turned his mood for the worse, but he wasn't quite ecstatic to admit that loneliness was the dark film over his current reality—and so had come his previous complaints. Trivial. Sasuke was unconcerned. He told himself he was unconcerned with his lack of contact with Naruto, as well, and left his bed for a shower.

Jerkily, more jerkily than an unconcerned man would have, Sasuke pushed off his blankets and stepped down onto the cool wooden floors. He padded across the room at a leisurely place, taking vague note of the slightly opened window. A small tightening of the skin around his black eyes was his only reaction.

As the bathroom door closed quietly behind Sasuke, tan fingers curled over the windowsill, and an unnatural wind swept under the small opening. Tousled blond spikes crept into view as a chuckle, resounding and childish, broke the air. Naruto Uzumaki's grinning face appeared behind the glass of Sasuke's Inn room window. He reached forward, deviant grin still in place, and slowly pushed the window up further, enough to allow his head passage; it was then, as he poked his blond head into the room and turned curious blue eyes on the steam flowing out from under the bathroom door, that the slippery window found it's way back down to home position—not before greeting Naruto's hand first, of course, and then becoming intimately acquainted with the back of it.

The passersby down below, if they'd cared to look up, would have seen their present hokage dangling quite disgracefully from Sasuke Uchiha's Inn room window, cursing colorfully all the while. Red-faced and grumbling, Naruto extracted his hand with care, before infusing chakra into his front, clinging effectively to the wall.

–

Relaxed and truthfully unconcerned now, Sasuke emerged from the bathroom among a cloud of steam. He spared one narrowed, smirking glance at the window, and raised a disbelieving eyebrow at the scowling face perched on folded arms. At first, he resisted the urge to express more amusement than he had already; but, as he dropped his towel and those blue eyes became terribly wide, he couldn't help but smirk wider and let free a low chuckle.

He approached the window slowly, eyes intent on his old friend, and pushed aside his distaste for flashing all those awake at five in the morning, walking down Jade St., and looking up; in favor of leaning down, brushing his pale fingers over the glass before Naruto's lips, and lowering his eyes to half mast. Those pink lips let free a torrent of uncontrolled breath onto the window as Naruto's own eyes darkened considerably, just before the drapes fell free and obscured his vision.

The resulting cry of "FUCK!" startled the old couple sipping tea in the cafe down below.

Smirking without restriction now, Sasuke turned and began dressing himself, feeling evil and cheerful, though it soon came to be a subdued emotion. Witnessing how Naruto's eyes had intensified in response to his teasing resurfaced long-repressed memories in his mind.

He remembered the burning of a soft, but textured tongue sliding down his neck, dipping along his stomach muscles . . . stroking the head of his dick. Naruto was beautiful when he kneeled before him, Sasuke remembered. His blue eyes would flash up at him mischievously as he worked, and Sasuke would lose himself, would groan and throw his head back with abandon, unable to pretend he was in control any longer. He was Naruto's, in that and every moment.

Or he had been, and therein laid Sasuke's guilt.

Unnerved, Sasuke finished pulling on his clothes and turned to the window, glaring. He shouldn't have teased Naruto, he admitted to himself. They hadn't seen each other in years—and expecting for life to fall back into place was as idiotic as was Naruto getting himself caught in Sasuke's window. He'd come here expecting change, and though hope wasn't easily squashed, Sasuke hoped he could collect himself before it reduced him to the dependent fool he had once been.

He also wished things could return to the way they had been, or progress further down the same path—but he had long ago denied himself the privilege. If forgiveness came about as easily as he now wished, his brother would still be alive.

Sasuke approached the window and drew back the curtains. Blue eyes glared up at him. He tapped the glass to indicate he would open it.

"Finally!" Naruto bellowed.

Without further delay, Sasuke pushed open the window and supported it as Naruto groaned and climbed through. He ignored the burning lines the golden spikes of Naruto's hair trailed along his neck and lowered the window once the man was all the way through. He allowed the drapes to fall back, and turned to face the anger, the sadness, the hate—whatever Naruto would give him. Sasuke would accept it, because he deserved the guilt of it all. This time, he'd had no reason to disappear.

Sharp, aching pain smashed into his cheek, and his face snapped to the side with the force of Naruto's blow. Sasuke restrained his sigh, afraid of the emotion it would have betrayed, and didn't move his face forward again until he had convinced his erratic heart to calm. When he did face Naruto once again, the shadows over his face parted to reveal his dark eyes, and he connected them with Naruto's blazing blue orbs.

Be angry, he thought. It won't change anything.

"Yes, I left," he said into the silence. "Again."

_Hate_ _me_ _—_ _because_ _I_ _can_ _'_ _t_ _handle_ _the_ _hope_ _of_ _maybe_ _._

Sasuke watched as Naruto's eyes flared in anger, his nostrils growing and shrinking in one furious moment, before he lunged, snarling all the while, and pinned Sasuke to the ground. Sasuke lay obligingly beneath him, staring back up at the face of his dreams with what he hoped was a blank palette. When Naruto's hands tightened and twisted in Sasuke's shirt, he knew he'd succeeded.

"You gonna let me hit you again, asshole?" Naruto spat at him, leaning in close with narrowed eyes. He inspected Sasuke rudely with his gaze, but it wasn't until the tan hands loosened in his shirt and slowly transferred from an forceful grasp to a gentle brush of fingers that Sasuke found it difficult to return that gaze.

"How many times had you decided on?" Naruto questioned, picking up the silver necklace around Sasuke's neck and holding it in his palm. The atmosphere stilled around them, and Sasuke knew now that his face betrayed emotion. Instead of exploiting it, the tanned man straddling his waist simply reached into the collar of his own shirt and produced from within a golden necklace. Sasuke's throat tightened and he felt his body freeze entirely.

The terribly beautiful vision of Naruto, hovering above him, came into stark clarity.

 _His_ _eyelashes_ , Sasuke thought, gazing up at him helplessly. The golden lashes framed shadowed blue eyes, and Sasuke found himself to be truly remorseful. Please don't hide from me, he begged internally, pride momentarily forgotten.

The tan arm braced next to Sasuke's head sent out cruel, shock-waves of awareness, and Sasuke shivered as he allowed the proximity to affect him. Glorious and lost in dark musings, a god hovered above him—and Sasuke could no longer keep from feeling with every inch of his being. He had to . . . he just had to. . . .

"Naruto," he whispered, glancing his fingers over the danging gold chain. The warmed metal burned his fingertips, but, instead of drawing away, he clenched the extra length in his fist. "I couldn't have stayed here."

Slowly, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, taking Naruto with him. His eyes connected with Naruto's, and his heart pulsed painfully. The restrained sigh finally left him, and Sasuke recognized his emotions as more than just guilt—he was scared.

"I . . ." Sasuke shook his head slowly, before leaning his forehead against Naruto's and closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he felt pure terror grip his chest at the blatant emotion he found staring back at him. "I am remorseful," he released. Moments passed in silence, the tension in Sasuke's body increasing with every passing of awareness.

Then, Naruto's body slumped against his, and large warm hands crawled around his shoulders to crush him in a hug. Light and damp, Naruto's laughter surrounded him.

Sasuke remained frozen in shock. "You . . ." he said in disbelief. "You . . ."

Naruto gave him one last, terribly tight, terribly kind squeeze, before pulling himself to his feet and stretching gratefully. He extended his hand down to Sasuke, his tan face stretched in a grin.

"C'mon, bastard. You missed everything! Sakura's pregnant now, you know," he said joyously. Sasuke stared back, tentative as he took Naruto's hand and regained his footing. Wild gesticulations filled the air; his Inn room was turned over with Naruto's curious, babbling search; and Sasuke was informed of the many events he'd failed to be around for. Numbly, he took this in, but at one point, the ramblings of his own mind burst forth in the same disbelieving tone as before.

"Forgiveness doesn't come this quickly," he said, half hating himself for it.

Naruto turned to face him, expression solemn once again. A new sigh broke the still surface of the room, and soon Naruto's voice followed behind the ripples, more impactive than the first disturbance.

"I forgave you a long time ago, Sasuke," he confessed, smiling helplessly.

Emotion, whole and all-consuming, welled up inside Sasuke's chest—and, suddenly, he was more than willing to follow Naruto around the village all day, to indulge him in his childish whims. In fact, it was all he could think to do.

–

A round, protruding belly faced him formidably. As the moments passed, Sasuke couldn't bring himself to look up from the growth. He chose not to determine if this was because he felt apprehensive about the inevitable hold the green eyes above the belly would engage his own black orbs in, or because he couldn't quite accept that the girl he'd known all his life was no longer a girl, but a woman with child. But, either way, Sasuke's eyes lingered on the intimidating mound and he busied himself with imagining the child within to be a balloon with green eyes, a pink head of hair, and abominable black eyebrows.

However, Sakura was as demanding as a woman as she had been as a girl.

"Where the _hell_ have you been?"

Before his eyes, a smiling, radiant pregnant woman transformed into man's ultimate enemy: the "upset" female. Sasuke swallowed involuntarily as she advanced on him. Protests bubbled up in his throat, aching to be let out, pride be damned.

"Er—Sakura—should you not calm yourself? Consider the well-being of your fetus—"

Blazing green eyes invaded his vision, just before all light merged into one entity and a shocking pain exploded in his head. Reality twisted and faded, so much so that Sasuke distantly believed himself to be in another dimension with pink, furry eyebrows generously distributed in the sky. In reality, he didn't do much more than press his forehead to the ground and hiss quietly as he clutched the back of his head. Eventually, he became aware of spit spraying on the back of his neck and found the will within himself to sit up and release his head. He wiped the back disgustedly as both sight and sound came back to him in waves, as such:

" . . . inconsiderate . . . don't even realize . . . what the HELL were you thinking?" Sakura spat venom in his face and he felt it sizzle where it contacted his forehead. He fought against his most primal instinct, quite sure that gagging Sakura was not a wise decision. She continued on in this fashion for a while, and Sasuke listened as best he could. However, as the initial shock of her presence and anger faded, her words became clear and he found her anger justified. Guilt overwhelmed him and his interest in her verbal lashings disappeared in an instant. This was everything he'd expected, and somehow, it was disappointing.

"Sakura," he interrupted when her voice wobbled tellingly.

As if held forcefully still, she ceased all movement, though her eyes continued to churn emotionally as she stared him down.

Sasuke stared back at her as he debated on what she needed to hear. He would say what was necessary to calm her down—and that was that, the end of it. However, the words wouldn't come. Sasuke's mind was clouded, made disorganized and ineffective by what he needed to say, leaving little room for what he should say.

Seconds passed, and Sasuke did nothing but stare into her green orbs. He pictured her child, fake and unrealistic in his mind, and felt emotion take his expression. She had moved on, and he had moved back. She needed him to say one thing, and he needed to admit another.

"Sakura," he repeated softly, stuffing down the Uchiha image. "I am content."

Before she could react, Sasuke dropped onto his haunches and inspected the parasite she'd taken into herself. After a moment, he averted his eyes in a sort of armistice and grunted affirmatively. "I expect you will be more than content." His eyes found hers again, and she seemed to absorb him with her wide gaze. Just as he began to grow terribly uncomfortable, Sakura made a small, choked sound and smiled.

One moment Sasuke was crouched before her, looking up into her face, and the next he was pulled up into a slightly hunched standing position, her hands upon his cheeks having been the driving force.

Sakura shook her head at him, eyes closed as if she couldn't accept what reflected light presented her. Then her wide eyes were on him again, though much closer this time, and Sasuke turned his face as far away from her as was possible. But then, a terrifying chuckle left her, and Sasuke stilled, unsure if he should attempt escape. His eyes darted here and there, seeking Naruto out, but the betraying ninja was nowhere to be found. Even his chakra signature was hidden.

_God_ _damn_ _it_ _—_ _he_ _left_ _me_ _alone_ _with_ _the_ _devil_ _'_ _s_ _mother_ _._

"Did you seriously just mind-melt with my baby?" she questioned, mouth twitching with restrained amusement. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her, pulled away from the invading press of her hands. Successful, he suppressed the urge to wipe his cheeks, and instead buried his hands in his pockets and glanced back at the belly.

"I made a deal with the devil," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "It was an act made imperative by your choice of partners—that is if you wish for offspring sans . . ." He gestured towards his eyebrows informally. "Aberration."

Though her eyebrows rose dangerously slow, her eyes crinkled too, and Sasuke supposed that meant he'd managed to communicate both the necessary and desired sentiments.

"I suppose that's your way of wishing me well," she said, a hand on her stomach and a smile on her face.

Sasuke nodded. "I would wish you nothing else."

–

Naruto was just overwhelmed with paperwork at the moment, Sakura had said. He was an important man, she'd said. The hokage couldn't divide his time between every citizen, and though he favored his old friends, he had responsibilities to the whole.

Old friends, she'd said.

Sasuke had left her, brushing off her apologies and promises. He was familiar enough with rejection, having issued a few in his time. He could recognize purposeful distance when he saw it.

–

The training grounds hadn't changed. The stumps hadn't uprooted and moved; the trees hadn't rearranged around the clearing; the memorial hadn't crumbled under the weight of time. Even the sound of the wind, as it passed through the clearing and slid among the trees, had remained the same. No, it wasn't the earth and sky that had changed.

Sasuke didn't know exactly how he had changed or, indeed, from what he had changed. He'd been so many different people. Every year, every event, and he felt new and old and done all at the same time. Sasuke wondered how it was he could still call himself Sasuke. He wasn't the infant born of his mother, or the boy utterly dedicated to his brother; he wasn't the bitter child stooping in a pool of resentment, or the adolescent relenting his clutch on hatred because that stupid blond needed saving every second and maybe he could be happy like this; but no, because he became an avenger and he isn't anymore. There was nothing left of the stages of his life, the various ends he'd sought to meet.

Somehow, he was still Sasuke, and he wasn't sure if that was because of his soul, or because Naruto had always been there, pulling him back into himself.

It didn't matter. The breeze carried on, the stumps stayed put, Sasuke was and wasn't Sasuke, but Naruto wasn't there. "The hokage can't spend all his time on old friends," after all. Thus, Sasuke wandered, and read (not Kakashi's books, thank you very much), Kakashi showed him a certain bookstore, and Sakura invited him to tea parties with the Green Beast and the devil's child.

Every day, Sasuke woke with the sunrise and remembered black string wrapped around his fist, revealing blue eyes, strong arms crushing his body into a hard chest. It was warm there in the cold morning hours, because Naruto was fire in his every form. Then Sasuke would sit up, the sheets would fall about his waist, and there would be no grinning face at his window.

It had been five days since he'd seen Naruto (because of course he was counting), seven days since he'd arrived back in the village, and he didn't know how long it would be before he resigned himself to village life. Before he applied for a teaching position at the academy, leased an apartment, and disappeared in the masses.

The thought was dispassionate. Konoha was dispassionate. _Sasuke_ was dispassionate, all for the absence of an irritating, radiant soul.

–

On the twentieth day, Kakashi found him, and though Sasuke found he could do naught but indulge in the old man's company, he also remembered his recently lessened appreciation for companionship.

"Don't sigh so often, Sasuke. I had heard you were _content_." Kakashi walked slowly alongside him, hands in his pockets, his head tilted up to view the pinking sky.

Scowling, Sasuke increased his pace. "I am merely breathing. Your concern is unwarranted and unwelcome."

Kakashi waved away his excuses. "Cut it out. You're freezing the summer air."

They turned onto a dirt path along the outskirts of the village's northern end.

Sasuke felt thirteen again, scolded for his stoic yet blatant immaturity. It was as if the concerns of his younger self had simply forgotten themselves in the back of his mind, ready to be called to the front line at the first sentimental reprimand. His feet slowed to a stop, hands working into fists and then out again, until he chanced a sharp glance over his shoulder. His breath stopped.

Kakashi's eye held him, allowing the jounin to examine his insides with what should have been a powerless gray eye. Silence, and then, "I missed you, Sasuke."

Sasuke cleared his throat, throwing his gaze off to the side. Pride burned beneath his skin, but he knew he should say it. He had the opportunity dangling before his eyes, and he'd be damned if he turned his nose up at it. Not this time around. "I—yes." Swallowing covertly, Sasuke turned back to his former sensei and held steady eye contact. "Kakashi." It itched with forgotten familiarity. "I regret the time lost."

Kakashi tapped his clothed chin, observing Sasuke with a lazy, analytical eye. "Why?"

Sasuke's jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. Disgusting. He hated this trait—Kakashi's insatiable need to extract every intimate detail, all of which the man could easily deduce for himself. What sadism. Did he question Sasuke's sincerity? Seething, Sasuke pressed, "Excuse me?"

"Why regret?" Kakashi slipped his free hand back into his pocket, and a flash of orange peeked out from the enclosure. Pale fingers caressed the binding.

Sasuke couldn't help but think that Kakashi had always been and would always be an inappropriate mix of wise and subtly lewd.

"Loss is permanent, Kakashi." Sasuke turned from the man's unaffected eye. A breeze flowed through the trees encroaching upon the worn path. He breathed it in slowly and forgot not to remember.

Exhale. Naruto, stalking him from the shadows, obvious and clumsy among the leaves. Naruto, frustrated and panting beneath Sasuke's restraining hands. Naruto, always there, behind his eyelids, demanding his thoughts.

"Evaluate loss before you decide it cannot become gain, Sasuke." Cloth rustled; paper slid against paper. The high branches billowed in the wind, some so oppressed they bent into themselves. Then, the wind stopped and they snapped back into place. Recovery.

There was, however, a point of no return. The snap.

"Think before you give out trite advice, Kakashi."

"Maa, Sasuke, you're ruining the mood."

Sasuke's eyebrows crept up, and he looked over his shoulder, wary of Kakashi's strange phrasing. "There is no 'mood'—"

His lips tightened, as it might if he'd sucked a lemon into his mouth.

Kakashi was slouched against the air, blazing orange novel pulled down over his nose. "Shhh. . . ."

Here Sasuke was, pouring out his goddamn soul, and the pervert decides porn is more interesting. Glowering, Sasuke turned fully around. "What—"

Kakashi held up a finger, gray eye narrowed down at the text. "No, shh. This is important. This scene has to be read directly after the previous, or it just doesn't have the same _umph_."

A faint tremble wracked Sasuke's form, followed immediately by a forceful swing through the air Kakashi's head had previously occupied. "You self-involved lecher!" Inconsiderate, misleading, cruel, uncaring, manipulative—

Smoke puffed to Sasuke's left and he lashed out with a fast traveling rock.

Kakashi dodged the offending object easily and turned to look at Sasuke with a wide eye. "Sasuke, you forget yourself."

The bastard was smirking at him, he knew it. Sasuke clenched his fists, glaring for all he was worth at the aloof dick before him. Of course, he should have expected this. Serious didn't stay serious for long around Kakashi. It was a rule. Huffing, Sasuke relaxed his fists gradually. His eye ticked minutely.

"I am not your student anymore, pervert."

Kakashi closed his free eye and dug a blue novel out of his right pocket. He held it up briefly, flashing the title, before tossing it underhanded to Sasuke's chest.

The cover was smooth and mildly slick beneath his fingers. "What's this?"

A chuckle, deep and ominous, breached the distance between them as Sasuke turned the book over in his hands. When Sasuke glanced up, Kakashi was walking down the dirt lane, right hand held in the air.

Sasuke gripped the book tightly under his fingertips. "Oi."

Kakashi paused, the revealed eye peeking over his left shoulder. "Just some light reading, Sasuke. I'm sure you're already familiar with the subject matter, but it would do to brush up for a certain . . . fateful encounter. Ja ne!" With a puff of smoke, Kakashi was gone, one settling tendril of dirt left to commemorate his presence.

Frowning, Sasuke pulled open the book and scanned the revealed page. His eyes roved down the text before, suddenly, they stopped. Silence stretched on for a small infinity, until, horrified, Sasuke gaped, pulled the book away from his face, and promptly chocked on his own spit.

"Kuhl—" Coughing, Sasuke clasped the book shut, placed it neatly on the ground, and walked a few paces away, focusing on his breathing. Kakashi's weakest attribute was undoubtedly his tact, unless this qualified as comfort.

His feet carried him back down the path slowly, until he halted directly before the innocuous paperback. He dropped to his haunches.

Kakashi's concern (what else could it be?) was unnecessary. Sasuke wasn't in need of education or acceptance. He was different with Naruto, singularly for Naruto, and it had never been a source of shame.

No, shame was not the word for Naruto. Nor regret, if Kakashi was to be believed.

Sasuke took the paperback in his right hand and considered it for an extended moment. It was a gift from an old friend. A joke. A sentiment. For that reason, he stood with it still in hand and headed back into town, the red sunset at his back.

–

_The_ _seasons_ _changed_ _._

–

I laid on my back late one evening, staring up into a dark, clouded sky, waiting for the rain I knew was coming. I didn't wish for sickness, or soggy clothing, or dripping hair, but neither did I fear it, and I so I waited. It didn't seem worth leaving, today as opposed to any other day, for the weather. My purpose here was reflection, which I had found to be an effective depressant, and the blackened clouds reminded me of a similar day, years ago.

I had pinned him, as usual, but he had reacted far from what was customary. He had turned on me with intent that my young mind had yet to discover, until that day. With rain on our faces, beating at our backs and obscuring our vision, we had touched as lovers.

Now, I was alone when the first drop fell, and I would be alone for the last.

Then, I tensed. Seconds passed and I could do nothing, not breathe or blink, for the adrenalin suddenly coursing through my system. Then, with a great surge of courage, I sat upright, breathing hard through my constricted throat.

A presence, both bright and heavy, lingered at the line of trees behind me.

It rained. On my bare arms, on my black pants, on my toes and sandals. I turned my face up so that it could rain on my face as well. I listened to his every step, his every breath, and I heard it when he stopped, felt it when he kneeled behind me.

Flinched when his arms came around me.

"You don't have to-" It hurt to speak. His warmth seeped into my back where he pulled me, my chest where he held me, and that hurt too. I blinked up at the angry sky. "You don't have to pretend for me," I said.

"Sasuke . . ."

There it was. His voice, after a silence I'd purposely stopped measuring weeks ago.

I jerked away, fully intending to free myself and ruin everything once again, furious as was my heartache, but he would not release me.

"Get the fuck off me," I spat over my shoulder, clenching my hands into fists. I glimpsed damp, golden hair before I had the good sense to look away.

"Oh, what, you'd rather sit in the rain alone?" He chuckled at my expense, and I was abruptly beside myself with anger. He had no right to toy with me as such, _no_ _right_ to leave and expect my touch on his first return—oh, but of course, I realized.

_God_ _fucking_ _damn_ _it_ _._

I deflated, feeling raw and uneasy. Rain pooled at my feet. "Revenge may be necessary," I said. "It may be deserved. But I had not thought it was you."

He untangled an arm from around me and I felt his newly free hand sweep my bangs from before my eyes.

I opened them and saw blue eyes.

"People change," he said, threading his fingers through mine on my stomach. He kept his eyes on mine. "People get engaged. You know, when the love of their life up and leaves for the third time. When they have an obligation to thousands of people and can't go after the one. They move on." He sighed, squeezing our hands together tightly. "Sasuke, you impossible asshole, I had to take some time to _move_ _back_. For you."

"How gratified I am to note that these last few months have been for me," I spat, rude and hurting. Of course Naruto would have a noble reason for his distance. Of course it was me, once again, who was tearing apart every good thing in our lives.

"Sasuke," he said, releasing me.

I stood up quickly, wet grass squelching beneath my feet, and thought of walking away. I imagined leaving him there in the rain to feel as I had just ten minutes before, when I'd remembered that stupidly beautiful scene in the rain.

I turned around, looked down at the hokage in his sopping wet robes.

He had his arm perched on one bended knee, had his eyes locked on mine in a challenge.

The rain fell around us, landed on my cheeks, persuaded my hair to fall back in my eyes. I remembered his hand sweeping them away, remembered his true, delighted laugh. Remembered wrapping black string around my fist and telling him I couldn't have stayed.

I held out my hand.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd really appreciate some concrit on this, as I haven't written for a while, and I've never had a beta. I tried to be very thorough in editing this, but I can only read my own work so many times before I stop actually seeing it, you know?


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